Birthday Prices
by awesomeinhumanfrom
Summary: Konan's special day is here and she and Pein have planned out exactly how to handle it, but leave it to the Akatsuki to find a way to ruin a shopping trip, a dinner date, and a little more. Some fluff...if you know what I mean (eyebrow wiggle)
1. Chapter 1

Hey y'all! I haven't put up a new story for so long you probably assumed I was dead, but nope! You're not that lucky yet! Here is my newest birthday story, for none other than Konan, aka ! At least in my book, even if its not official yet. Thanks for reading, please review!

Birthday Prices

Konan

Chapter 1

"What do you want for your birthday, Konan?" Pein asked as he sipped the coffee I had just finished brewing for him. He sat comfortably slumped into his chair, the daily newspaper spread across his knee. It was ironic to see a god looking so ordinary, but one look into his ringed, flashing purple eyes would remind you exactly how extraordinary he was. I smiled cheerfully at him; I wasn't about to forget the fact that my birthday was tomorrow and I was looking for ay opportunity possible to talk about it.

"I would like an opportunity to go shopping as well as an actual date, maybe?" I held my breath and watched his reaction. Pein and I were dating, despite the fact that we didn't go to dinner, or the movies, or anywhere for that matter. He claimed that he didn't have the time for such 'trivialities.' In reality, it was due to the fact that he wasn't one for anything romantic. He blew me off and I put up with it. That was basically how our relationship went, as far as actual dates were concerned. He, of course, made up with other things; but a girl always wants more. One of my greatest problems. I finished scrubbed the plate I held in my hands as I waited for his response. He sighed and shifted in his seat to face me. I noted grimly that his index finger was repeatedly rubbing his right temple. Sign number one that he was either agitated or annoyed.

"Konan," The way he said my name made me hold the plate in front of me like a shield. "How much money do you think we have for you to go shop with?" He growled and relief ran through me. I smiled as I realized that he was't turning down the date.

"Well, I was thinking that I could use my paycheck." He turned and looked at me like I belonged in a mental institution.

"You want to buy presents for yourself on your birthday?" An amused expression crossed his face. "I was thinking we should make the entire Akatsuki, besides Kakazu and Zetsu because they'll refuse to cooperate, come and pay for gifts. Than we could go for dinner. I'll make reservations and I can cover the bill." A mixture of happiness and excitement made my heart skip a beat and I gave him the biggest smile I could manage.

"That sounds perfect!" I said. Then I pushed the last plate in the cupboard, gave Pein a kiss on the cheek, and turned to leave the room. He gave me one last smile before I disappeared down the hall.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Wake up." I opened my eyes sleepily. I blinked a few times as my eyes adjusted to the light that flowed through my window. In my peripherals I noticed someone kneeling beside me on the bed.

"Good morning!" I said as I whipped around, grabbing the person who I assumed was Pein and giving him a big kiss. It took me a second to groggily realize that I had grabbed a grinning blue shark instead of Pein.

"Good morning to you too!" Kisame leered. "That's one way to start a day!" I frowned grouchily at him.

"Sorry, I mistook you for Pein." He grinned.

"No need to apologize! Pein wanted me to came and get you." I nodded and followed him out of the room. He grinned at me happily. "Happy b-day!" He sang out before walking ahead, en excited skip in his step vaguely noticeable. I couldn't help but smile at his good nature. When I walked into the kitchen I was taken back by surprise.

"Happy birthday!" The whole Akatsuki then began singing to me and I smiled. My smile grew a bit larger when I noticed that Pein was wearing my apron as he sat food on the table. Did he make it all?

"Hn." Itachi said, pulling on my sleeve. I noticed a few food stains on his shirt.

"He's saying that he made it!" Kisame announced. Pein glared at him.

"Almighty push!" Pein sent him flying back. Then he smiled at me. I shook my head.

"Too late now. I know the truth. Trying to take credit for Itachi's work." I smiled and gave him a small kiss before sitting down and digging in.

"This is delicious, un! This food is so good it is art, hmmm Danna?" Deidara said between mouthfuls of food.

"It was made by Itachi." Sasori replied. Deidara spit his food out quickly as Sasori smirked at his misery. Deidara ran toward the bathroom.

"Um...is he puking?" I asked as I heard gagging noises from the bathroom Deidara had just disappeared into.

"Probably." Sasori said, his smirk widening as he turned back to his food. I shook my head, amazed by his lack of concern. For some reason, I couldn't eat after that. I sat my fork down and sat back in my chair as a sickly Deidara stumbled back towards the table. Greenish colored...stuff...lined the sides of his mouth. The table roared with a groan of disgust and soon the only people still eating were Tobi, Kakazu, and Zetsu.

"Sempai!" Tobi said between mouthfuls of food that he somehow scooped in through his mask, "you have vomit on you!"

"Un." Deidara stood up and headed back to the bathroom.

"I'm gonna be sick." I whispered as I scrunched up my face in disgust.

"Hn." Itachi said. His eyes were filled with pity.

"It was good food, I just have a weak stomach when it comes to gross stuff."

"Hn." It may have just been me, but that 'hn' seemed to have a tone of understanding to it. Maybe I was just going crazy. I looked up as Deidara walked back in, his face now clean once more. Thank the sweet Lord Almighty.

"Are we ready to go?" Pein asked. "Seeing as no one will finish the food we might as well go ahead ad leave." As he said the rest of the Akatsuki stood up and walked towards the door. I followed them, excitement gnawing at my stomach. Then I remembered the problem: I was still in my pj's.

"Wait! I have to change." I said before I hurried back to my room. I heard a group sigh behind me, but I ignored their poor spirits. Pein would whip them into shape. I ran upstairs and pulled on jeans and a t-shirt, and applied my usual makeup. I smiled as I caught up with the rest of the Akatsuki.

"You guys ready for shopping?" I asked cheerfully.

"Yes, un!" Deidara yelled. Everyone else was silent. "Just kidding, un." He corrected quickly, the smile falling from his face.

"Don't worry, Deidara-sempai! Tobi loves shopping too, Deidara-Sempai!" Tobi yelled, throwing his arms around Deidara.

"No, un!" Deidara yelled as he was thrown backwards from the impact of Tobi hitting him. He stumbled and hit a half-asleep Hidan.

"Hey! F***ing watch it, motherf***ers!" Hidan yelled, whirling on Tobi and Deidara in fury.

"Aah! Tobi's sorry, Hidan-Sempai!" Tobi screeched, holding his hands in front of himself protectively as Hidan prepared to attack. Luckily, the attack was interrupted by Pein.

"ENOUGH! BEHAVE, THIS IS KONAN'S BIRTHDAY AND YOU IDIOTS WILL NOT RUIN IT!" Silence fell over the Akatsuki and they froze like statues. Pein then turned to me and smiled sweetly as he held the door open. I walked through it cheerfully.

"Thank you."

"Your welcome." He said, slamming it shut after he walked through.

"Hey! He f***ing shut it on us!" Hidan yelled, throwing the door open. I kept walking, ignoring his indignant shrieks about 'etiquette.' As if he had room to talk.

...

wow, it has seriously been too long since my last update. I'm really slacking, guys. Actually, I have an excuse this time for taking a while: I'm coming up with an AWESOME NEW AKATSUKI STORY! It is gonna be amazing! My sister is freaking out and even I'm wondering where I got the idea from. Just warning you, it will be a while until I get it on the internet (I want to finish my bday stories first) and it is a PARODY! But it will just be the Akatsuki, no OCs.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

As if entering a mall flanked by a group of S rank criminals wasn't nerve-wrecking enough, Hidan just had to be loud and draw attention to us. In fact, his noisy entrance was advantageous in a way because it cleared everyone out surprisingly quickly. The clerks looked disappointed to lose their sells, but quickly latched onto us, trying to get us to buy as much stuff as possible. Naturally, I took advantage of the situation.

It was two hours and I was the only one that still had a smile glued to my face. Kakazu looked at the giant bags hauled by every Akatsuki member (besides Zetsu) and I could've sworn I saw tears in his eyes. I didn't let that ruin my good mood, however, and continued to the next store. I only stopped when I felt someone grab my hand.

"Konan, shouldn't we go get dinner?" Pein asked, a pleading look in his eyes. I looked from him to the store and back again. I sighed heavily.

"Sure." I said and he smiled.

"THANK F***ING JASHIN I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO BE F***ING STUCK HERE FOR-F***ING-EVER WATCHING THE BLUE-B**** SHOP!" Hidan screamed, making me jump about a foot into the air. He had sunk into some sort of silent depression after an hour of shopping. Now, that I think about it, Deidara was the only one who wasn't literally dragging himself. Maybe we had overstayed our welcome. Plus, I had plenty of clothes, getting more would be selfish. So I did the right thing.

"Let's go!" I chirped before turning to exit the mall. I furiously ignored the chorus of 'finally's' behind me. It took a lot of self-control to not whirl around and yell about them watching football and not helping with the cleaning, but I managed to control my annoyance.

"Dress nice." Pein whispered in my ear. I turned to him with a smile, taking in his cocky expression with a grin.

"Where are we going?" I asked with a smile.

"Dinner. I promised, remember?" He said, a proud look contorting his features.

"You promised a movie too." The look of pride fell from his face and he frowned.

"I...might've forgotten about that." I giggled and he gave a helpless shrug in response.

The moment we reached the hideout things turned hectic. Pein and I had immediately gone to our room to change and the rest of the Akatsuki took that as permission to do whatever they wanted. Pein had changed faster than me (naturally) and the moment he left the room I heard him begin yelling. I came to a halt when I heard the words 'furniture' and 'stains' in the same sentence. My mascara split with a small snap as I turned and walked out of the room slowly. I peered out to see Itachi sitting on the couch, the bowl of cookie dough he held in his arms spilt across the couch and floor and even Itachi himself. Itachi was glaring at Deidara, who was literally rolling on the floor laughing as Pein yelled something about putting explosives in cookie dough.

"MY NEW COUCH!" I screamed and Pein stopped yelling as I ran over and pushed Itachi to the ground, my eyes scanning over the stain. After a few moments I turned and sprinted to the closet, not caring that my pretty black dress was not made for sprinting. I yanked my stain remover and a wash cloth out of the closet without a second glance and sprinted back over, hoping to salvage my poor couch.

I had finished blindly scrubbing the couch before I noticed WHAT cleaning supply I was using. In my mad dash to the cleaning supplies closet I had somehow managed to mistake bleach for stain remover. I watched, horrified, as the couch turned from a soft tan to a sickly white, the mere color of it echoing my defeat. I would've cried over the stupid thing if it wasn't for Pein, who scooped me up and hugged me tightly.

"It's okay, Konan. We can buy a new couch tomorrow." I slumped against him. "I'll make Deidara suffer for this, don't you worry." He said before he broke our hug and stalked off down the halls. I scowled after him, even though my anger didn't make a difference.

"I never got my cookie dough." Itachi hissed behind me. I sighed and sat down on the floor next to him.

"I didn't get my date." I sighed and he patted my back. I gave him a small smile and we sat together, listening to the gruesome sounds of Pein catching Deidara and making him suffer for the loss of a couch.

The End

...

deidara, if it hadnt been for your bomb i wouldve gotten to wirte konan and pein going on a date. Curse you deidei. Jk, love ya ;) R&R


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